My subconscious is painfully obvious. It's almost laughable some days how literal my dreams are. Not so laughable when I wake up crying from what may constitute the worst dream ever.
My people, my ladies, for the most part, are elsewhere. This is very lonely and alienating sometimes. I am thankful that I can send a text saying "help" and get an amazing, thoughtful response like that, and two wonderful, soul soothing calls (and two from a friend who called the wrong Sara once, we laughed about it, then he did it again later on, hahaha). What was a bad thing turned good. I am thankful to have good and caring people in my life, both here and far away.
I was out on Friday night with a friend. I was out, doing something new with some new people, something that I should have loved doing, yet so many times I caught myself elsewhere. I wasn't present, and I found myself questioning things, and the people I was with. I was suspicious and not myself. It's very hard for me to trust new people, or even really trust old people (acquaintances) who are new to me right now, and that's maybe not a bad thing. I do want to overcome the thought that, well, I want to overcome a few thoughts. If there's blood in the water, the sharks will circle.
Whatever will be, will be.
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