Saturday, December 31, 2011

Saturday. I get to be a "mom" to a 17 year old

This is Grace pretending to be shy.
For a while I worked with kids who don't "fit" into regular school. I met a lot of really cool kids, and for that it was an amazing experience. Grace and I have kept in touch, and I really appreciate our relationship, even if she causes me endless grief. I think I say "really Grace?!" ten times during our get togethers, but she's 17 and I'm not, and sometimes you need someone to say "do you think it's a good idea to be going on dates with other boys when you have a boyfriend?" and to ask "is he nice to you? no, well, give him the boot."
It's also funny to catch up on all the gossip, and to hear I'm missed.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Friday. Winter cabin

I was fortunate enough to head out to a friend's cabin this week. It was beautiful and snowy and crisp. I walked out onto the lake and stood there, taking in the view, and appreciating just how quiet it was. Out there on the frozen lake there wasn't a sound, not even my own thoughts which was so very welcomed.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday.

Today was a crappy day. I actually had to say "yes, it will affect me if I don't get paid the $850 I'm supposed to." That's a conversation that could have never happened and I would have been fine with it.

When I came home I knew I needed something to cheer me up.

These did the trick.









Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thursday. Grandpas

This is just the best.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wednesday. Cool drawings






























































































Came across these and I think they're amazing! So weird and different. The guy is Canadian to boot! Montreal represent! Check out his website here

Wednesday. Windy arm

This is the most beautiful setting. Makes me want to learn how to skate even more!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tuesday. Call your girlfriend

Came across this this morning, and it's so funny. The guy resembles my sister's boyfriend, and it's something I can totally see him doing (at the end of the night). I've watched it a bunch of times, and I've laughed each time. I love how cool and uninvolved everyone looks.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Friday. Porcupines

Porcupines are (maybe) my favorite animals. They remind me of old people and toddlers simultaneously. They are grumpy, they have funny looking teeth, sometimes they are super cuddly, and they make funny noises.

Here are some videos.







Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thursday. Playlists

I've been listening to old playlists this week. I've made a few that have survived over the years; some were gifted as cd's and others I apparently made for specific times, like "reading" (so says the title). Listening to them is always kind of fun because I don't know what song is next, and when it plays, I'm sort of transported back, and I remember, oh, yeah, I thought that song would be good because of this reason, or I put this song next because it means this to me.

The last three songs on my "reading" playlist were repeated many times today. It's cold but bright out, and they just seemed to fit with the stillness.

This song changes my blood pressure. As soon as I hear the first sounds, I feel myself instantly calm. This is a real love song to me.



I was lucky enough to see Bill Callahan years ago when he came here as Smog. He's so awkward and wonderful. His voice resonates so much with me and his lyrics are like weird poems. Thinking of an actual teenage spaceship, awkwardly flying around, makes me smile. There's a line in the song - "I was beautiful with all my lights, loomed so large on the horizon, so large, people thought my windows were stars," and I think it's really beautiful.



I love me some Sufjan, especially his early stuff, like Seven Swans. Just him and a guitar and some minimal accompaniment is so so good. His music, especially his acoustic stuff, makes me want to go to a cabin in the winter and curl up and just look outside.



For good measure (this song is on the playlist but not part of the final three), here's one of my most favorite songs of all time. Talk about swoon worthy, dear goodness this is near perfect. I want this song at my wedding, my funeral, and everything in between.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Tuesday. Winter reading

I've been looking over my collection of books, and picking out ones to revisit this winter. I've also been thinking a lot lately. Probably too much. Heavy boots came to mind, so I decided to look up Jonathan Safran Foer quotes. Holy shit. So many good ones. Definitely spending some time with him this winter.

“What did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think. I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.

“I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others -- The only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad.”

“You are the only one who has understood even a whisper of me, and I will tell you that I am the only person who has understood even a whisper of you.”

"She was like a drowning person, flailing, reaching for anything that might save her. Her life was an urgent, desperate struggle to justify her life.”

"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.”

"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

"Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.”

All from here

Monday, December 5, 2011

Monday. Abandonded water parks


































































These pictures are all from here. I think they're pretty amazing.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Thursday. Thirty

Today is my birthday. I am thirty. It's been a good day. Lots of friends and food and good. It was a nice day.
Now it's just me and Clem and a little R. G. Even when he's gross he's not.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Sunday. Ladies

My one lady friend suggested to a bunch of her lady friends (myself included) that we all get together for dinner tonight. We did, and it was so great. It was so great that I didn't take a photo. Oh well. Tonight's lady time was so welcomed. My nearest and dearest don't live in the city, so it makes it hard for me sometimes because I really miss that connection. What I do have in the way of true lady friends I am so thankful for, because they are so great, and it turns out they know other great ladies, which is really fantastic, because good ladies are really truly good, and really truly appreciated.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Thusday. Thankful

I don't know about you, but sometimes a good cry really is the best thing. This whole week I've been feeling like I need to cry, but it just hasn't happened.

Well, I read this and had a good cry. It's really incredible.

Some samples:

Dear Sugar,

I am grateful for how much I have fucked up.

Before I fucked up, I thought I was a good person. I thought I was noble, and pure, and I thought I did good deeds in the lives of the people I loved. But over the course of years I fucked up. I mistook codependence for partnership. I mistook my craving to be needed and loved for altruism. I mistook the dependence I created in others for strength shared. I mistook my distance and withholding for self-sufficiency.

But I fucked up, and I learned. I am not a good person today. Neither am I a bad person. Instead I am a person who strives to behave like the sort of person I want to be. I try to live as if I am good, knowing that I have failed before. Failure keeps me from the corrosive trap of certainty, and I am grateful for it.

Best wishes to you and yours


I am grateful for the opportunity to be uncomfortable. In the strange and lonely corners of discomfort is where I find those moments of beautiful sadness when life pulsates vibrantly around me and within me, opening my heart to accept the raw and the brutal equivocally with the selfless and kind.


I am thankful for second chances. Deserved or undeserved, but truly given without reservation. Given to me and to others, but most importantly, the one I gave to myself.


I am grateful that my mum died quickly. She had 28 days from her diagnosis, to the end. She had only 28 days to go from a fully functioning human being to being unconscious and unresponsive. She had only a few weeks to experience the physical pain, but also to experience the loss of her independence and pride. Every day I am grateful for the speed at which my mum’s light burned out.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thursday. Last night

Tallest man on earth - These Days (Nico Cover) - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Last night, while unnecessarily delaying bed time, I read through some old blog posts and journal entries. Depressing sometimes, and happy others. It's kind of unnerving how in some aspects I am in the same place, but in others I am not; I have made progress. Slow and steady. Below is something my dad said to me over a year and a half ago, and I think it's still applicable; it's a life motto maybe. It made me laugh to read it again.

"Hi Sara,
It sounds like you have a lot going on in that head of yours :-) Maybe figuring life out isn’t really possible? Maybe it’s just about doing, living, trying to enjoy, and not figure it out? I don’t know for sure; I do know that I am happiest and more content when I ‘do’ and not figure things out much."

I also came across the video I posted above. Holy dinah, forgot about that one.

Wednesday. Paintings
















































































These paintings are great. They're done by this guy, and what's really neat is that his style has changed so much over time and seems to change depending on what he paints. I love his landscapes.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tuesday. Weird Fleet Foxes

This short film/music video is so weird and beautiful.

The Shrine / An Argument from Sean Pecknold on Vimeo.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sunday. Grandma



Grandma and the sugary fuel that keeps her going. She's 91 and she's pretty funny.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Saturday. National Geographic photo contest

















National Geographic is holding their annual photo contest. You can check out some entries here and then check out the photo contest link to see all the entries.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Friday. Dad day



Happy early birthday to me. I am very lucky and extremely thankful.
Today was Dad lunch day. It was a really nice time. I'm proud of the relationship he and I have now. It wasn't always like this, so it's sort of extra special that it's good now. I'm actually really proud of the relationship I have with both my parentals.
I took pops to Parlour today. He's a real coffee person, so I wanted him to see it/try it out. He called the pouring of his coffee an "artistic science," which was a really good way of putting it. He was really impressed, and even said "it's a good thing this is here." It's true! That place is so great, and it's so great it's in Winnipeg, and I'm always happy when neat things get the attention and admiration they deserve.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Thursday. Teenage boys

On my morning bus ride to work there are several deaf teens who I assume are going to school. I'd say they are around 14-17 years old. There is a group of boys who are friends, and they are teenage boys through and through. Open admission: if I could "do it all again" (I realize this is a silly thing to say as I'm only almost 30, and that's young, but the thing is I like what I'm doing now, so for now the "do it all again" will be a "do it slowly/part time" or "do it someday") I would be an ASL interpreter/learn ASL. I find signing fascinating, so I can't help but pay attention sometimes. Anyways, today a cute girl got off the bus, and one boy excitedly tapped the other on the shoulder, and long story short, now I know the sign for boobs. It was something like this:

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wednesday. Kurt Vonnegut





































A woman whose husband had recently passed away wrote to Kurt Vonnegut thanking him for his books and his compassion. He wrote her back. This is what he said. It's really nice.

Nov. 30 '90

Dearest Marianne Brown --

It can't be said often enough, "It is the woman who pays." The miracle is that so many can and do somehow. I was in love (still am) with a widow with four kids (two not her own). She somehow raised them all on a teeny weeny salary. I told her one time, "I worry about women." She said, "Don't."


Cheers --



(Signed)



Kurt Vonnegut


(i found it here)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Tuesday. Marcel returns



"Windy. That's what the community calls you. I'm glad you like it I guess. Maybe I shouldn't tell you where it came from."

Cutest. Thing. Ever.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Monday. Hip hop dressage

Monday. The green mile

















This is a train tunnel in a forest in the Ukraine. It's called the Tunnel of Love. It looks like the best place on earth to me.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Sunday. A treehouse and too much internet
























How amazing is this!! A home away from home. Could you imagine? One can dream...

On the topic of things seen: This weekend I spent far too much time looking at the internet, and specifically blogs of cute married/life partnered people. Season changes make me nostalgic/introspective. There are some adorably sweet and creative and nice seeming people out there. While it was really nice to see, it made me a bit wistful. I'm not unhappy in any way, but a girl can dream (and want, someday, some day not some year) about being one half of a cute lifepartnered/married couple. Making a home and doing stuff. That sounds nice.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Saturday. Munchkin


















Mr. Karl Slover. One of the four remaining Munchkins from the 1939 Wizard of Oz.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday. Painted antlers




In love with these. They are from here.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Thursday. Internet pause at work

While taking a short daydream/brain break at work just now, I came across this.
Totally gave me the tingles.

Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday. Full days and full nights

Today was such a good day. Great coffee in a beautiful little shop with a great lady. Great dinner in a swanky restaurant with another great lady. Good conversation abound. Walking outside with sunshine and the perfect soundtrack. Give me full days. Give me full nights.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wednesday. Beginners

I watched Beginners yesterday, and it was terrifically good. Adorable dog, beautiful man, beautiful woman, interesting and humanly flawed characters, and a Velveteen Rabbit quote that made me cry (seriously, how is that a children's book?).

Monday, October 24, 2011

Monday. Sunday t.v. day




Richard Harrow is my favorite character on t.v. right now, and Boardwalk Empire is my favorite show. He breaks my heart every time I see him. I really just want to give him a hug and a kiss.

The second picture is from this. I came across it a couple of years ago, and while I never forgot it, it slipped to the back of my mind. As soon as I saw Mr. Harrow, it came right back. It's so amazing.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Sunday






This site is so great. So many amazing photos. The Eartha Kitt and James Dean one blows me away.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Thursday

This video was all hand drawn! It took 1850 marker drawing and two months to make it. Amazing! The song is really pretty too.

We Cut Corners "Pirate's Life" from Kijek / Adamski on Vimeo.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday. Little old lady

This is Clementine. She's not the best thing I saw today, though she is most days. No, today I met this teeny, bent over old lady while waiting for the bus. There's a pic of Clem because we talked about cats. At one time she had 16 strays in her house. "16, can you believe it! It was nuts." Now she's down to 4, and the oldest one, who she said is as old as her and the mom of the remaining cats, rules the roost.
"I'm glad I have them. It would be a pretty lonely house if they weren't there."


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday. The walk home

Today I walked home. I walked from the Portage entrance of Assiniboine Park to home, which is on Broadway. Took me an hour and a half, but there were some pretty great things along the way, namely so many crows.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wednesday: Jane Eyre

"It is in vain to say human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it. Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot. Nobody knows how many rebellions besides political rebellions ferment in the masses of life which people earth."

Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday. Nostalgic for New York



I've got New York City on the brain. It was great on so many levels, but mostly because I went by myself. Fuck yeah I did. It would have been great to go with someone, but I went by myself, and got lost, and had fun, and met people, and it was always just me. I got to hang out with two friends who are really just so lovely together. It was so nice to be around such a great team; kind of inspiring in a way. It was also so great to be there on my own. If I wanted to do something, I had to do it, no one else would push me to. It was scary sometimes, but scary is okay; scary works. There is a sense of accomplishment gained from not letting scary win. Fear of the unknown, that butterfly feeling, having no fucking clue what's going to happen next, those are all scary, but really neat and great things can happen, and from scary you find out what you're really like, and how you react when you don't have the comfort of "this has happened before."

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wednesday

The teeniest tomato from my garden today, and some baby pigeons. Here's to little things!!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Monday

I love a good hand drawn font (even if it isn't really hand drawn).

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Saturday



Not mine, but it could be. The burden, not the font. It belongs to him

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tuesday. Some words



I was reading one of my usual blogs, and the author had written about an article he saw on Roger Ebert. The article was about how he's not of afraid of death, and it was really his musings and views on life. I read it, and this part in particular really resonated with me. I think we all try to do our best. Sometimes it's harder than others, but we shouldn't lose sight that we're all just trying to make our way in life.

"I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out."

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thursday. Bringin' it back



In six days I will be here (New York) Yippee!! I'm also going to Montreal, and I am very excited for that, but I've never been to New York, and I'm going by myself, and I'm just really excited and nervous but mostly excited.
Life's been kicking me in the ass for a while, so I need a break. This is an awesome break.
I'll be taking lot's of photos and I'm sure a few (okay a lot) will end up here.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tuesday night

David Sedaris suggested this book when he spoke at McNally. He knows his shit. It's fantastic.