Tuesday. Sloths.

I would have the same reaction.



Just for good measure...





(I've looked into volunteering at this place, and it's a two week minimum. Someday...)

Friday. Day out.

Such a good solo day out. Affinity, plans for next Thursday (so excited they're coming back!), the Bay, amazing art (and talking about it with the artist!), and the cutest dog ever.

Thursday. Liz Lemon

Tuesday. Matthew Dear

The first time I heard Matther Dear was on a VICE mix cd. Dog Days was the song and I liked it immediately.


I haven't really kept up with his music, but when it pops up, I like it. He has a new video out, and it's crazy. So colourful and acidic. Really great. The song's not bad too.

Matthew Dear - "In The Middle (I Met You There) [ft. Jonny Pierce of The Drums]" from Ghostly International on Vimeo.

Thursday. Stop motion

Address Is Approximate from The Theory on Vimeo.

I am terribly sentimental, and endlessly excited for things a lot of people don't care about. I put a lot of emotion into almost everything I do, which means I take things personally and I get hurt a lot. I don't think this is a bad thing - I wouldn't want to be any other way really (well, sometimes I would) - but it does mean that sometimes things - everything, anything - are hard. It's hard to get excited about things, to care about things, and want people who you think should care to care, but have them not.

Yesterday I was talking to my mom about this, and she said that if I continued on this way - to have these high expectations of people - that I would just be let down. It sounds harsh, and in a way it is, but in a way it's not, because it's pretty true. I would never have no expectations of someone, but I'm working out what those expectations should be. I can't place so much of myself onto/into other people, because they're other people, and that's what makes them great, but also what makes it hard.

I take comfort in the fact that I think seeing a guy dressed as a full on cowboy is great. I like the fact that I look up weird things on the internet. I look around and watch a lot, and because of that I see so many neat things that I appreciate. It would be great if others did as well, or if they shared my mentality on certain things, but not everyone does, and that has to be okay.

I think this video is amazing. It's been so cold here, and I've been feeling generally meh. I was looking at places to go to break out of the blah, maybe not realistically, but places I would like to go someday, and it made me feel a little better. Finding this video reinforces that feeling.

Thursday. Beauty is embarrassing

This looks like it will be the best.
"It's so beautiful it hurts my feelings."

Wednesday. Cold.

Wednesday. Wanderers

We Were Wanderers On A Prehistoric Earth from James W Griffiths on Vimeo.

Tuesday. Tetris

Way to go me.

Thursday. Launch.

Today was a good work day. I am thankful that after many years and many jobs, some of which were great, most of which were not, I'm working at a place where I can do what I went to school for (and actually like doing), do it to support something I believe in, and do it with people who are awesome.

Today was a big day. We had an event at the Ledge, and there was a lot of people there. It was really good to meet new people and make new contacts, but it was tiring. I love the Ledge, so I slipped out for a bit and walked around. Me and moaning myrtle in the bathroom. I'm not good at vanity shots, but this is more of a vanity shot of the awesome bathroom.

Another good thing about today is this movie trailer. Yes yes yes!

Wednesday. Don't mind me, I'm just gonna scootch in beside you and make you fall in love with me

Seal meets girl. Seal falls in love with girl. The end. from Bob Dobalina on Vimeo.

Wednesday. Cheetah legs

I was catching up with The Moth (a favorite podcast), and I listened to this one:

THE MOTH: AIMEE MULLINS-CHARACTERS UNITE

How awesome! I did a little research and came across this:



I can remember watching the Cremaster Cycle and thinking the cheetah lady and the lady with the glass legs were so so spectacular. I had no clue.

What a woman!

Tuesday. The cold, unforgiving plastic bag

A plastic bag as a glacier. Fantastic!

Monday. Phone calls and text messages

My subconscious is painfully obvious. It's almost laughable some days how literal my dreams are. Not so laughable when I wake up crying from what may constitute the worst dream ever.
My people, my ladies, for the most part, are elsewhere. This is very lonely and alienating sometimes. I am thankful that I can send a text saying "help" and get an amazing, thoughtful response like that, and two wonderful, soul soothing calls (and two from a friend who called the wrong Sara once, we laughed about it, then he did it again later on, hahaha). What was a bad thing turned good. I am thankful to have good and caring people in my life, both here and far away.

I was out on Friday night with a friend. I was out, doing something new with some new people, something that I should have loved doing, yet so many times I caught myself elsewhere. I wasn't present, and I found myself questioning things, and the people I was with. I was suspicious and not myself. It's very hard for me to trust new people, or even really trust old people (acquaintances) who are new to me right now, and that's maybe not a bad thing. I do want to overcome the thought that, well, I want to overcome a few thoughts. If there's blood in the water, the sharks will circle.

Whatever will be, will be.

Sunday. Le Havre

I went to see this last night, and it was really cute. Funny and dry, with the Frenchest of French characters. As the nice lady in the bathroom said after the movie "there wasn't a moment where I wasn't interested in it."

Saturday. Elephants

I'm fairly certain my spirit animal is the elephant. I think they're amazing, and every time I see a show or YouTube clip about them, I'm crying within minutes.

I used eight kleenex on this one.




Jenny has since passed away, but Shirley is still there. These elephants live here. They all have heartbreaking stories, and it's wonderful they've come to live at the sanctuary. This is the same place where Bella the dog and Tarra the elephant became best friends. I'm going to Tennessee.

Thursday. Successful night in

I'm all for cooking, but sometimes a little (or a lot of) KD hits the spot. Started a new book today which is really funny so far. Funny thing, the last book was all about death and mourning, this one starts with "Today I've made a major decision: I am never going to die." From one to the other...

All the while (and by all the while I mean pretty much all day and night since NYE) I've been listening to these guys. So fantastic! The singer looks like an ordinary dude (kind of like a young Meatloaf), sings like, well, he growls one minute and then bellows another (kind of reminds me of Jack Black when he sings), and is so nuts when he dances, but he looks like the most positive person ever. Also, they're based in Baltimore, which is where John Waters is from, which makes them even better. So good. Kind of the best thing to have a solo dance party right now. I must see them live.

Thursday. This is the best

A little boy with Downs being included in an ad campaign is a thing that shouldn't be a thing, but it makes me immeasurably happy none the less.

Wednesday. The Year of Magical Thinking.

I'm reading Joan Didion's book "The Year of Magical Thinking." It follows her life after the sudden death of her husband, and an extended and life threatening (she got pneumonia, then sepsis, then she was "okay" and then she had a brain embolism) hospital stay by her daughter. Both of these events took place basically at the same time. Her daughter went into the hospital, five days later her husband died, her daughter was in the hospital for several more weeks, then she was out, then she was back in.

I can't even imagine.

Didion writes simply and eloquently about the day to day things that were affected after the death of her husband, and just how far reaching her grief was. She couldn't drive a certain route because it passed by an old house of theirs. She couldn't eat at the dinner table. She also, and very interestingly to me, writes and looks at grief as a medical condition, not solely as an emotional one. She quotes Freud and shares information from doctors; it's really something.

For anyone who's ever experienced grief (a.k.a everyone on the planet) I'm sure you know that you don't just feel sad, you are sad. It is all encompassing. You physically hurt. At this point in my life I've been very fortunate not to have lost anyone close to me because of death. I mean, my three of my four grandparents passed away, but I was much younger. My maternal grandma is alive and kicking at 91, both of my parents and my sister are still alive, and the other people I've loved have left my life of their/my own accord, so I can only speak to that kind of grief (the ending of relationships, romantic or otherwise), and I can say with 100 per cent certainty that it is sickening; it's terrible.

It's not just loss though. Tough decisions, uncomfortable situation, those illicit a physical response as well. There really is a mind/body connection that I think needs more attention.

This song, sort of in keeping with this post, is simultaneously sad and soothing to me. I think it's so so so beautiful. I picture water, snow, and the Northern Lights when I listen to it. This band is ruling my life right now.

Sunday. New Year.

An oldie but a goodie. Re-found this one while youtubing today. So simple but so beautiful.

Sunday. New Year.

Happy first day of another year. Here's to being present, to personal growth, to kindness, to balance, to fun, and to positive relationships. Here's to being good. Here's a cool art installation. This is what happens when you give kids thousands of stickers and permission to put them wherever they want. You can read the article here. There's also links to some other cool interactive installations, including a helium filled kinetic drawing machine (it's a big helium filled ball with charcoal sticks mounted on the outside).