Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday. I get to be a "mom" to a 17 year old
For a while I worked with kids who don't "fit" into regular school. I met a lot of really cool kids, and for that it was an amazing experience. Grace and I have kept in touch, and I really appreciate our relationship, even if she causes me endless grief. I think I say "really Grace?!" ten times during our get togethers, but she's 17 and I'm not, and sometimes you need someone to say "do you think it's a good idea to be going on dates with other boys when you have a boyfriend?" and to ask "is he nice to you? no, well, give him the boot."
It's also funny to catch up on all the gossip, and to hear I'm missed.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday. Winter cabin
Friday, December 16, 2011
Friday.
When I came home I knew I needed something to cheer me up.
These did the trick.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wednesday. Cool drawings
Came across these and I think they're amazing! So weird and different. The guy is Canadian to boot! Montreal represent! Check out his website here
Wednesday. Windy arm
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Tuesday. Call your girlfriend
Monday, December 12, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Friday. Porcupines
Here are some videos.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Thursday. Playlists
The last three songs on my "reading" playlist were repeated many times today. It's cold but bright out, and they just seemed to fit with the stillness.
This song changes my blood pressure. As soon as I hear the first sounds, I feel myself instantly calm. This is a real love song to me.
I was lucky enough to see Bill Callahan years ago when he came here as Smog. He's so awkward and wonderful. His voice resonates so much with me and his lyrics are like weird poems. Thinking of an actual teenage spaceship, awkwardly flying around, makes me smile. There's a line in the song - "I was beautiful with all my lights, loomed so large on the horizon, so large, people thought my windows were stars," and I think it's really beautiful.
I love me some Sufjan, especially his early stuff, like Seven Swans. Just him and a guitar and some minimal accompaniment is so so good. His music, especially his acoustic stuff, makes me want to go to a cabin in the winter and curl up and just look outside.
For good measure (this song is on the playlist but not part of the final three), here's one of my most favorite songs of all time. Talk about swoon worthy, dear goodness this is near perfect. I want this song at my wedding, my funeral, and everything in between.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Tuesday. Winter reading
“What did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think. I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”
“I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others -- The only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad.”
“You are the only one who has understood even a whisper of me, and I will tell you that I am the only person who has understood even a whisper of you.”
"She was like a drowning person, flailing, reaching for anything that might save her. Her life was an urgent, desperate struggle to justify her life.”
"Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.”
"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”
"Why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future.”
All from here
Monday, December 5, 2011
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Thursday. Thirty
Now it's just me and Clem and a little R. G. Even when he's gross he's not.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Sunday. Ladies
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thusday. Thankful
Well, I read this and had a good cry. It's really incredible.
Some samples:
Dear Sugar,
I am grateful for how much I have fucked up.
Before I fucked up, I thought I was a good person. I thought I was noble, and pure, and I thought I did good deeds in the lives of the people I loved. But over the course of years I fucked up. I mistook codependence for partnership. I mistook my craving to be needed and loved for altruism. I mistook the dependence I created in others for strength shared. I mistook my distance and withholding for self-sufficiency.
But I fucked up, and I learned. I am not a good person today. Neither am I a bad person. Instead I am a person who strives to behave like the sort of person I want to be. I try to live as if I am good, knowing that I have failed before. Failure keeps me from the corrosive trap of certainty, and I am grateful for it.
Best wishes to you and yours
I am grateful for the opportunity to be uncomfortable. In the strange and lonely corners of discomfort is where I find those moments of beautiful sadness when life pulsates vibrantly around me and within me, opening my heart to accept the raw and the brutal equivocally with the selfless and kind.
I am thankful for second chances. Deserved or undeserved, but truly given without reservation. Given to me and to others, but most importantly, the one I gave to myself.
I am grateful that my mum died quickly. She had 28 days from her diagnosis, to the end. She had only 28 days to go from a fully functioning human being to being unconscious and unresponsive. She had only a few weeks to experience the physical pain, but also to experience the loss of her independence and pride. Every day I am grateful for the speed at which my mum’s light burned out.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thursday. Last night
Tallest man on earth - These Days (Nico Cover) - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.
Last night, while unnecessarily delaying bed time, I read through some old blog posts and journal entries. Depressing sometimes, and happy others. It's kind of unnerving how in some aspects I am in the same place, but in others I am not; I have made progress. Slow and steady. Below is something my dad said to me over a year and a half ago, and I think it's still applicable; it's a life motto maybe. It made me laugh to read it again."Hi Sara, It sounds like you have a lot going on in that head of yours :-) Maybe figuring life out isn’t really possible? Maybe it’s just about doing, living, trying to enjoy, and not figure it out? I don’t know for sure; I do know that I am happiest and more content when I ‘do’ and not figure things out much."
I also came across the video I posted above. Holy dinah, forgot about that one.
Wednesday. Paintings
These paintings are great. They're done by this guy, and what's really neat is that his style has changed so much over time and seems to change depending on what he paints. I love his landscapes.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Tuesday. Weird Fleet Foxes
The Shrine / An Argument from Sean Pecknold on Vimeo.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Saturday. National Geographic photo contest
National Geographic is holding their annual photo contest. You can check out some entries here and then check out the photo contest link to see all the entries.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Friday. Dad day
Happy early birthday to me. I am very lucky and extremely thankful.
Today was Dad lunch day. It was a really nice time. I'm proud of the relationship he and I have now. It wasn't always like this, so it's sort of extra special that it's good now. I'm actually really proud of the relationship I have with both my parentals.
I took pops to Parlour today. He's a real coffee person, so I wanted him to see it/try it out. He called the pouring of his coffee an "artistic science," which was a really good way of putting it. He was really impressed, and even said "it's a good thing this is here." It's true! That place is so great, and it's so great it's in Winnipeg, and I'm always happy when neat things get the attention and admiration they deserve.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thursday. Teenage boys
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Wednesday. Kurt Vonnegut
A woman whose husband had recently passed away wrote to Kurt Vonnegut thanking him for his books and his compassion. He wrote her back. This is what he said. It's really nice.
Nov. 30 '90
Dearest Marianne Brown --
It can't be said often enough, "It is the woman who pays." The miracle is that so many can and do somehow. I was in love (still am) with a widow with four kids (two not her own). She somehow raised them all on a teeny weeny salary. I told her one time, "I worry about women." She said, "Don't."
Cheers --
(Signed)
Kurt Vonnegut
(i found it here)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Tuesday. Marcel returns
"Windy. That's what the community calls you. I'm glad you like it I guess. Maybe I shouldn't tell you where it came from."
Cutest. Thing. Ever.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Monday. The green mile
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Sunday. A treehouse and too much internet
How amazing is this!! A home away from home. Could you imagine? One can dream...
On the topic of things seen: This weekend I spent far too much time looking at the internet, and specifically blogs of cute married/life partnered people. Season changes make me nostalgic/introspective. There are some adorably sweet and creative and nice seeming people out there. While it was really nice to see, it made me a bit wistful. I'm not unhappy in any way, but a girl can dream (and want, someday, some day not some year) about being one half of a cute lifepartnered/married couple. Making a home and doing stuff. That sounds nice.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Thursday. Internet pause at work
Totally gave me the tingles.
Murmuration from Sophie Windsor Clive on Vimeo.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday. Full days and full nights
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday. Beginners
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday. Sunday t.v. day
Richard Harrow is my favorite character on t.v. right now, and Boardwalk Empire is my favorite show. He breaks my heart every time I see him. I really just want to give him a hug and a kiss.
The second picture is from this. I came across it a couple of years ago, and while I never forgot it, it slipped to the back of my mind. As soon as I saw Mr. Harrow, it came right back. It's so amazing.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Thursday
We Cut Corners "Pirate's Life" from Kijek / Adamski on Vimeo.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Wednesday. Little old lady
"I'm glad I have them. It would be a pretty lonely house if they weren't there."
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wednesday. The walk home
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Wednesday: Jane Eyre
Friday, September 30, 2011
Friday. Nostalgic for New York
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Tuesday. Some words
I was reading one of my usual blogs, and the author had written about an article he saw on Roger Ebert. The article was about how he's not of afraid of death, and it was really his musings and views on life. I read it, and this part in particular really resonated with me. I think we all try to do our best. Sometimes it's harder than others, but we shouldn't lose sight that we're all just trying to make our way in life.
"I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out."
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Thursday. Bringin' it back
In six days I will be here (New York) Yippee!! I'm also going to Montreal, and I am very excited for that, but I've never been to New York, and I'm going by myself, and I'm just really excited and nervous but mostly excited.
Life's been kicking me in the ass for a while, so I need a break. This is an awesome break.
I'll be taking lot's of photos and I'm sure a few (okay a lot) will end up here.